I am writing this in response to a situation that I cannot reveal the details to since it is ongoing and sensitive; however, I fear we all more or less are making similar choices. I know for me it is true.
We have such a hard time asking for help.
“I can handle it.”
“It’s not that big of a deal.”
“It’ll fix itself.”
Instead of being open and honest with ourselves, our friends and family, God… we run. We hide. We struggle in silence. And all that we do is strengthen our ability to put on a good face, but it’s a shallow lie.
I admit the tactic “works”. The storm passes and the house looks fine on the outside. But in rescuing the facade, realize that the foundation is weakened. And somewhere along the line, we end up convincing ourselves, no lying to ourselves, that all is well.
The facade starts to crumble. No foundation. Real damage. There is no one to help. It’s too late.
No one knew. Everything spills out into the open and it’s shocking. It’s ugly. God is not surprised. This was a process, a decay.
Not long ago, a SpaceX rocket exploded on the launch pad during a routine fueling process. The engineers were shocked. The immediate stories in the media focused on potential sabotage from the outside!
The reality was a fundamental flaw in the design of the fuel tanks.
“According to a transcript received by Space News, he argued that he supercooled liquid oxygen that SpaceX uses as propellant actually became so cold that it turned into a solid. And that’s not supposed to happen.
This solid oxygen may have had a bad reaction with another piece of hardware — one of the vehicle’s liquid helium pressure vessels. Three of these vessels sit inside the upper oxygen tank that holds the supercooled liquid oxygen propellant. They’re responsible for filling and pressurizing the empty space that’s left when the propellant leaves the tank. The vessels are also over wrapped with a carbon fiber composite material. The solid oxygen that formed could have ignited with the carbon, causing the explosion that destroyed the rocket.”
No one saw this happening.
Friends, family, strangers reading this: Don’t wait for the explosion, don’t wait for it all to come crashing down. We cannot say, “If you need help…”. You are going to need help. It is a fact of life. We are not built to be independent, we are not made to exist as islands.
The specific situation I am referring too (but not really referring too) is just such a case. People are hurt, relationships damaged, and a foundation crumbled, critically because someone tried to go it alone.
As a practical suggestion, try asking for help this week. Even if you know you can do it yourself, include someone else. It’s a skill to cultivate and for all the times we hide, maybe it’s time to practice being more open? It will teach you how to ask for help, so when you really need it you will be ready. It will teach gratitude. You will be more able to help others if you receive it yourself.